I finally have an accurate answer, shorter than two paragraphs, for those who actually want to know how I am. It is: “My wife had an absolutely awful year so mine wasn’t good either.” It turned out that my last year’s gloomy prediction was still optimistic. 2017 was full of accidents, family tragedy, acts and behaviour that could really nurture one’s misanthropy.
I tried to keep such tendencies in check with an exception reserved for the most dysfunctional organisation I know of. Their every medical report was full of lies and when I think of them I only feel loathing.
2018 has inherited everything needed to be another bad year and my only real goal for this year is to try to make it passable. Take care of loved ones. Everything else will be delegated to modest hopes and ambitions without firm commitment.
Bigger ambitions in 2017 were sunk in a stream of events that taught me at the very least that there are different kinds of lost years. I wouldn’t change anything if I had to relive this one so at least regrets were not compounded. Well, almost. Profound sadness from the start of 2017 developed into anger that certainly exhibited itself in my crankiness. For this I am very sorry. Otherwise I am fine.
2017 really proved how important it is to take care of your health and I did it with mixed results. On one hand I continued to meditate and averaged almost 50 minutes of recreation per day. I also got noticeably overweight and certainly not from a well balanced diet. I do not feel too bad about this, considering the year, as I am prone to comfort eating, but I would prefer a year with only half as much exercise if I also fixed my weight and diet. Also, long term stress will kill you.
Last year I haven’t done any homeconfs, nor did I build anything new nor find a new hobby. I was too preoccupied with problems at home to indulge in a quest for bigger problems to solve. My Spanish definitely stagnated which is something I definitely want to change this year. I would love to scrape together enough time for at least some of the listed wishes.
If this year eases on character-building experiences, then I’d like to give my learning more direction and depth. Spend less time on things that become quickly obsolete if they are not necessary.
I published here rarely because I wrote rarely. What I did write reads clunky and awkward and more practice is sorely needed. It would be almost impossible to publish less than I did last year, but another such year might help if it unshackles me from a self-imposed expectation of finishing the things I started. Curious to see how this turns out.
When thinking of it, 2018 looks like a maintenance year. By which I don’t mean to forsake anything new, but my focus will definitely be on solving existing issues instead of creating new ones. Let’s see how it goes.